Eavesdropping Is A Dangerous Thing
by HugsandBugsSmileyface
Summary: "DUDE, THAT'S ENORMOUS!"  "Now what do I do with it, Raito-kun?" One-shot. Rated T for sexual innuendo. L/Light.


**Okay I will say that this is very very funny :]]] -Crystal Catastrophe XD **

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It was a well-known fact that L was a great detective. Hell,  
he was the best. He prided himself on being the best. No one could ever compare to his intellect. No one. No one except Light Yagami.  
Light was...different than most boys his age, this was certain. Light was more intelligent, more athletic, and more aesthetically appealing than most other boys. He was also tall.

Well, taller than L.

So when L found himself too vertically challenged to handle hanging his new shower curtain on the rod and replacing his shower head, L called Light for help. Of course, he could have always gotten a chair to stand on, but L was not common-sense smart. I'm not saying L is dumb. No, not whatsoever. Ask him to take a test on Biochemical Engineering, sure, he could ace that; however, when it came to the obvious, L wouldn't realize it if it smacked him in the face.

"Okay, Ryuuzaki, where is your curtain?" was the greeting Light gave him as he crossed the threshold of L's dwelling.

"Here," L said, shoving a box in Light's hands.

"You haven't even opened it yet?" Light inquired, staring at L who had gone into the kitchen, gotten some fresh strawberries, and started coating them with sugar.

"No. I knew from looking at it that I'd need your help. Strawberry?" he offered.

"No, thank you." Light declined, pulling the curtain out of the box.

"So can you help me or what?" L asked.

"Yeah sure," Light said, "show me to your bathroom."

L did just that, locking the door behind them.

"Why did you lock the door?" inquired Light.

"Oh, um...I didn't want anyone to come in and disturb us. It takes...you know...concentration...to put up a...Oh look, a distraction!" L pointed to the opposite wall.

Light turned to look. "I don't see anything." he commented.

"Hm. Must've been my imagination." L commented.

"Let's hurry and get this over with, Ryuuzaki. I have to meet Misa at 5:00." Light said.

"Alright I guess," L said, " let's get to work."

It was at that time Watari decided to make himself known.  
He had searched the house for L and had come up short. The only places left were either the bathroom or the attic, and L hated the attic. So he knew he had guessed correctly when he heard L's voice coming from the bathroom. What he didn't expect to hear was Light's voice as well.  
Watari knew it was rude to eavesdrop, but he just couldn't help himself. He was a naturally curious person. Watari pressed his ear against the door in an attempt to hear them better.

"Dammit, Ryuuzaki, it doesn't bend that way, so don't try to bend it!  
You'll end up hurting us both if it breaks!" Light screamed.

"Sorry, Light. I guess I just got carried away there. Doing new things excite me, is all."

"You've never done this before? Seriously?"

"Hey, don't make fun of me! This is my first time doing this with another guy. Usually I'm by myself, failing miserably, I might add,  
and have to resort to using the internet for help!" L said.

"Ryuuzaki...I promise I'm not making fun of you. I'm just shocked, is all." Light replied.  
"Usually people have done this at least once."

"..." Watari went.

"Okay. So what's next?" L asked.

"Well, take out the head." Light instructed.

"...Okay...I'm too short. You do it."

"...Okay. It's out." Light said.

"Now what do I do with it?" L asked.

"What do you think?" Light asked.

I'll just...yeah. Okay." L said.

A thump was heard.

"Dude! That's ENORMOUS!" Light exclaimed.

"..." Was all Watari could say.

"Well, put it in already." L said calmly.

"Alright. Where's the tube thingy?"

"What tube thingy?"

"The one with the stuff in it..."

"Yeah. That's not vague at all."

"You know what I mean...The glue!"

But Watari heard the word "lube" instead.

"Oh...I laid it on the counter!" Light said.

"K. Let's just...slide it on..."

"K."

"And...Voila!"

"...There. Not bad, Ryuuzaki."

"Yeah. We make a pretty good team" L replied.

"Alright, let's get out of here. I'm hungry." Light said.

"Already? You just ate."

"Yeah...I know. But I promised Misa I'd take her out to dinner tonight, so..."  
"Oh. Okay. Yeah. Here. I'll unlock the door." L replied.

A click was heard, unlocking the door. As the two young men exited the bathroom, they felt the door thump against something hard. They looked down to see what had obstructed their passage, only to see Watari,  
fainted on the floor.

"...Watari?" L poked him. "Are you okay?"

"OMG, KIRA GOT HIM!"

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**The End! Well? Do you love it or what? REVIEW!**


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